Confusingly, I'm not sure it's worth saving. How do I know what to do? Can I even forgive my partner?

These questions can be hard to answer. For example, your partner engaged in wrongdoing, or you are experiencing relationship problems that seem unbearable. Whatever the relationship struggles, the question of whether to stay together can be daunting and painful. Especially if you love your partner!

Below is a helpful start. Ask yourself five questions:

1. Does my partner acknowledge wrongdoing, a problem, or an issue? Issues are to be expected in relationships, but is my partner admitting there is a problem.
2. Is my partner showing signs of regret? When we hurt the people we love, we usually feel sad, guilty, and even remorseful. You might see some form of a repair attempt. Look for ways your partner is genuinely sorry.
3. Is my partner asking for help? Trying to fix a problem within a relationship can be daunting. Relationship counseling can help but is your partner asking and willing to do what it takes.
4. Is my partner willing to include me in the process? Fixing relationship problems is sometimes a process and not a quick fix. Are they including me in the process?
5. When we do enlist help, are there signs of improvement? You want to look for actual signs of improvement. Signs of improvement maybe not be so obvious and take longer, or they may be blatantly obvious and quick. Even the slightest signs of improvement count.

The above five questions can help you decide - forgiveness, seek help together, or move on. Suppose you answered yes to all of the above questions. In that case, your relationship has great potential - even with the seemingly worst problems.

While some problems may be worked out on your own, other issues might be best worked out with a trained counselor or a relationship coach. Seeking professional help at the early stages of relationship trouble can set a solid foundation!

With much caring,
~Constance

Stuck in a not-so-great relationship cycle? For a quick tip, try these five steps. Are you arguing with your partner all the time? Or, maybe you are too afraid to approach the problem. Or, you're asking for attention to find you are not getting your needs met.

Most relationships fit one of three types: which one are you? 

• The Knockdown Drag Down. You are in a constant battle. 
• Passing Ships in the Night. You are coasting, and your relationship has lost its zest. 
• Pursuer-Avoider. You find yourself constantly trying to make things work while your partner is avoiding.

Relationship types don't define you. Instead, they describe you and your partner's way of relating to each other - the dance you do with one another. The good news is that you can change the way you relate without changing you.

Try these five steps on your own or with your partner to positively impact your relationship.

1. List the problems. Sit and write a quick list of the top three issues that bother you. Try not to list more. The others may magically go away once you master the main three. 
2. Stayed focused. Pick one problem at a time to tackle. For instance, one problem may be that we argue too much.
3. Own your part. List ways that you might contribute to the problem. For instance, "I yell back." This doesn't mean you're taking full responsibility. You're just taking hold of any part you might be able to make a positive impact. 
4. Take action. How can you respond in a way you're proud of? Now that you've owned your part of, "I yell back." Your action step might be to say, "I am angry right now; this isn't a good time to talk," or some unique personalized variation.
5. Make yourself proud. Successful relationships turn towards each other as opposed to avoiding. So, in the just mentioned example, let your partner know you'd like to follow up with the conversation when you are both able to talk reasonably. In any other case, make yourself proud just means to stay plugged into your action step by offering compassion either to yourself or your partner. In short, it means to take kind and loving actions, but to remain true to yourself and create boundaries. 

Need help creating boundaries and getting on track, view either individual or relationship counseling. 


​With lots of care,
​
~Constance

Sex therapy provides a safe space to discuss a topic that remains a societal taboo. It's not easy to face sexual issues, and sexual issues might contribute to feelings of shame, worry, anxiety, or frustration. It can be hard to talk about these issues or even to face them. Sex therapy is meant to help individuals without judgment or stigma and provide the support they need. Sex therapy is also an effective way to overcome many issues, address concerns, and answer questions. 

​When something isn't right with our body, we seek out the appropriate medical doctors. When we're feeling mental anguish, we seek out a mental health therapist. Similarly, when something is wrong with our sex life, sexual satisfaction, or another aspect of our sexuality, we should seek out a sex therapist. A sex therapist has unique training surrounding sexual matters that might otherwise be missed in traditional therapy. 

Sex therapy is a type of psychotherapy focused on improving sexual function, feelings, intimacy, or dealing with different related issues. Sex therapy is essential and can help many people find fulfillment or solve any issues they might be facing.
 
What kind of issues are resolved in sex therapy? 

• Couple intimacy problems
• Premature ejaculation (ejaculating too quickly during sex)
• Erectile dysfunction (difficulties achieving or maintaining an erection)
• Impulsive or compulsive sexual behavior (e.g., sex addiction)
• Difficulties reaching orgasm (anorgasmia)
• Pain during intercourse (dyspareunia)
• Concerns with one’s performance, sexuality, sexual interests, sexual desire 
• Past sexual trauma

 
Sex therapy is a comprehensive intervention. It can work with the physical, emotional, and cognitive underpinnings of a sexual dysfunction, resolve past trauma, clarify and educate on sexual issues, and work on any related issues. 
 
In general, people come to a sex therapist with specific concerns that are addressed throughout the sessions. Treatment length varies and is tailored to each individually. 
 
Talking about sex can feel awkward or embarrassing, but a trained sex therapist prepared to listen, provide a supportive environment, and address any concerns the person might have. Sex therapists also work with couples and, often, the partner might become involved in the treatment to improve intimacy. Other times, the work will be deeply personal or focused on an individual. 
 
What is not addressed in sex therapy?

​It’s important to address some common misconceptions about sex therapy. First, it does not involve any touching, physical contact, or anything similar. The therapist respects the patient’s boundaries at all times. Secondly, sex therapy is an official branch of psychotherapy and, as such, uses evidence-based methods, strategies, and techniques. It is not esoteric. 
 
Throughout the course of sex therapy, individuals can improve satisfaction with their sex life, resolve certain issues like erectile dysfunction or anorgasmia, find the underlying causes for a sexual problem, work with sexual trauma, and improve their intimacy and understanding of their own sexuality. Overall, it is a useful resource for anyone who is feeling dissatisfied or concerned with their sexuality and would like to improve the way they experience intimacy.
​

With advancements in technology, counseling services can happen anywhere - at home, at work, or during lunch. Regardless of the weather or lack of transportation, remote counseling opens the door to new treatment options. It allows you to be in a place where you’re most comfortable. You can connect with your therapist by merely joining a call from your home, while sitting in your pajamas and sipping on a cup of tea.

The Benefits of Telehealth

Telehealth offers many benefits for clients. It’s a powerful strategy that makes counseling easier and convenient. Some key benefits to Telehealth are:

• Flexibility: With Telehealth, all psychotherapy sessions are secure and provide real-time two-way communication that allows you to receive counseling anywhere. Counseling sessions are conducted at times that best fit your schedule, and you’re no longer confined to a nine-to-five schedule. You also avoid having to wait in the lobby to meet with your therapist.
• Convenience: Telehealth is impressive in that it does not constrain you to a specific physical location. In addition to being at home or the office, you can receive counseling sessions while taking a nature walk or relaxing by the ocean. Some drive to a relaxing spot and sit in their car. You can easily connect with your therapists as long as you have a phone and an Internet connection. 
• Your Therapist is Always Nearby: Telehealth allows you to always have your counselor just a few clicks away. It opens the door for more communication while enhancing the therapy experience. Also, it offers therapy during nontraditional hours, allowing early morning and night-time access to your counselor. You also avoid the perceived social stigma associated with receiving mental health care, for remote counseling provides a greater amount of privacy.

Whether it’s individual counseling, sex therapy, relationship counseling, child and adolescent therapy, Telehealth offers significant value regardless of the counseling session. Each remote counseling session is uniquely structured for optimum treatment irrespective of age or circumstances. It’s a new path to healing and growing.  

What type of technology do you need to use Telehealth services?

​You will need a device that has a video camera, similar to FaceTime or Skype. You will also need Internet access via Chrome or Firefox browser. Virtually all smartphones provide easy access to Telehealth services. A desktop computer, laptop, or tablet are also ways of accessing a video calling app. There are various video calling apps available, and accommodations can be made to use the one you feel most comfortable with.

In conclusion, Telehealth services are an excellent option for busy or working individuals. It offers real-time solutions to psychotherapy that are affordable, flexible, and convenient. In addition, it eliminates the physical requirements of an in-office visit while allowing you the ability to be anywhere. 

For additional information about Telehealth, feel free to contact us by phone at 772-631-6138 or by email at drconstancedel@icloud.com.